


It Took Me Two Months To Love You Again

by liviie



Series: Learning To Walk When You Want To Run [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Minyard Loves Neil Josten, Cheating, Healthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Moving On, Neil Josten loves Andrew Minyard, Past Relationship(s), Petty Andrew Minyard, Self-Worth Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:14:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27281761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liviie/pseuds/liviie
Summary: After their breakup, Neil Josten is ready to confront Andrew. Even if it takes some time to become himself again.
Relationships: Neil Josten & Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Learning To Walk When You Want To Run [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991932
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	It Took Me Two Months To Love You Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part of the breakup au I'm writing. Make sure to read that one first!

The moment they locked eyes, some part of Joseph eased a bit. Nothing had really stuck for him in a while, what with his life being upended. But seeing Andrew, here at the coffee shop they used to go to before their breakup, well… it was refreshing in a way. 

It was the first time something bad happened in Joseph's life, without the constant fear of death in the background. 

Yes, it was painful. It was terrifying and new, but at the same time, it was safe. Joseph knew no one was going to come out of their inevitable breakup in pieces, but seeing it was a whole new experience. 

Andrew didn't seem to share the sentiment. 

"Two months Abram." 

Joseph smiled inwardly. It had been hard at first, but soon he found the hang of it. Of living. Truly breathing without anyone or anything holding him down. Joseph was the freedom Neil always needed and, in some ways, Andrew was the one to thank for that freedom. Yet another thing to add to the ever growing list of things Andrew had done for Neil. 

"I'm back now," Joseph nodded, dipping his head into his mug for a sip of coffee. 

Andrew looked livid, yet also relieved. His face spoke of anger, but the casual way his shoulders laid back into his wooden chair told Joseph that he wasn't truly mad at him, but more at the fact he was ever worried. Joseph had almost forgotten the way Andrew worked in his time away, but his constant fear of showing any weakness was unforgettable. 

"You said you'd talk to me 'later' I was under the impression that would be a few hours, not weeks." 

"You shouldn't assume, Drew." 

The two were quiet as they examined each other. Joseph, with a small almost sincere grin, and Andrew, with a permanent scowl. 

"You promised to stay," Andrew spoke in an almost-whisper, "You lied." 

Joseph scoffed. All this time and he still hadn't learned. Andrew was stubborn and single-minded, but that didn't make him stupid. He should've figured out by now that sometimes, rarely, but _sometimes_ the problem isn't the person that did the hurting, but rather the person that got hurt. Andrew did all of this, and expected no repercussions. 

Joseph was almost tempted to comply. Again, almost. 

"Andrew, you promised to protect me and then fucked a stranger," Joseph tapped his mug, "We both lied, but you did it first." 

"Neil." 

The coffee shop smelled of burnt coffee and pumpkin. Two smells Neil Josten used to find comfort in. Two smells Joseph still finds comfort in. It was strange how many similarities the two shared. It was almost as if Neil Josten and Joseph Crood were the same person only hidden behind a half-assed costume. 

The boy sitting across from them looked fresh yet exhausting. He looked content, but also lost. Like his life was just grazing over perfect, but not quite there yet. Like it was missing something. Kind of like he, too, was wearing a half-assed costume. 

Joseph wasn't narcissistic enough to think Andrew's life was missing him. But often in those 2 months apart, Joseph missed the roof like a piece of him was stuck up there. He had enough self-respect to not want to crawl into Andrew's arms again, but some part of him dreamed that their mess never happened. That Andrew never ruined their nothing for… well, nothing. 

"Andrew, why did you do it?" 

The look the blonde gave Joseph was so foreign to Andrew's face, that it was almost indescribable. But Joseph was used to this look. It was the look he's gotten thousands of times from thousands of strangers; it was guilt. 

"I'm taking a turn, Andrew. Why did you cheat on me?" 

"I realized our nothing had become dangerously close to something," Andrew admitted. He said it as if he just threw a tennis ball at a brick wall. As if someone wasn't right in front of him waiting for the harsh contact of it hitting their face. As if the words couldn't hurt Joseph. 

The dangerous part of Joseph laughed. The part that told him he deserved everything he ever got in life. All the pain and suffering. 

Joseph chose to ignore that part of him like he had for the month's he'd been gone, and tuned into Neil's badgering. The only person that had ever reassured him that Andrew didn't absolutely hate him. 

Joseph's eyes softened as a little piece of him fit back together. These months away were spent in utter darkness. Some nights, he'd count his scars and agree with his made-up version of Andrew. The Fake-Andrew that Joseph made up to explain the whole mess. The Andrew that called his scars ugly and his trauma exhausting. The Andrew that Joseph built out of lies he spun deep in the night to get some fucking sliver of an explanation. 

He'd even gotten a tattoo on his hip, where a nasty group of red and white tissue clustered into a messy clump of scars to ease the insecurity this figment created. It didn't help too much, but it was the first thing Joseph did to get rid of Andrew. To fight back. 

Even if the Andrew he was fighting wasn't real, Joseph made sure to stand up. 

"That was stupid," Joseph joked. 

"So was running away," Andrew didn't deny it, "The FBI could've found out." 

Joseph would've gotten angry at that, but two months without people breathing behind his neck really did something for his temper, "But they didn't." 

"Why are we here, Neil?" 

And, well, there were plenty of answers for that. Because Joseph was only a temporary plan and he was ready to be Neil again. Because he missed Andrew so much it felt like he was dying. Because last night he remembered that Exy still existed, and the new season would soon, and he needed that shit to stay alive. Because, Andrew, you made me forget about everything. You made me feel so full and happy for the first time in my life. Andrew, Jesus, because you hurt me so much and yet I still have the gull to love you. 

_Because I've never loved anyone before. And because I never thought I could. And because, Jesus, I don't think I ever will again._

"Because… I want to be okay again," Joseph conceded, "I need to come back or else the Moriyama's are going to kill me, but more importantly because you are there and I'm not." 

"I hurt you," Andrew argued. 

"I hurt you too." 

"I betrayed your trust," Andrew spat. 

"You did." 

Andrew's knuckled turned white against the tables and his stupid broad shoulders tensed up to his ears, but he stayed sitting. He didn't storm off and call Renee for a fight. He sat there and waited. If not because he needed Neil back; then because he didn't wait for Neil when it mattered last time. And for once, he felt the deep pull of regret. 

Neil sipped the last of his coffee and set down a tip at their table, "I don't want to go up to the roof anymore, I don't want to spend the night in Columbia, and I don't want to wake up at 3 fucking AM to practice Exy. Andrew, I don't want to kiss you, I don't want to touch you, and I don't- fuck- I don't want to miss you anymore. All I want is to survive past 21 with you by my side." 

"And if I don't want that?" 

Neil smiled, "Then all I want, is to make it to court."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! People wanted me to continue the last fic so I did, I hope it was good!


End file.
